You totally spoilt my day... I was smiling.. Looking forward to the end of lessons and I can go walk walk... In the end.. Seriously.. I dunno lah.. But you did a great job in making me so fucked up and despaired... Luckily.. People are always there when you need them...
This entry may have a lot of vulgarities.. But.. I dunno.. I dun care..
You're asking why Ron will ask me to run.. Why not you.. Why not anyone else.. You feel that I'm acting important during FOC.. You feel that I'm letting Jessie down during camp.. Let me tell you something..
If you can do it.. Then go ahead.. Show me you have at least one bloody bit of contributions.. Other than your bitchy comments on every single thing.. When non of it was needed.. Redundant.. Absolutely..
You made me so touch during camp.. Asking me to rest more and dun overwork myself.. You made me fly so high feeling so happy that. at least my trust in that you are a good friend is not failed.. Yet.. You made me fall so hard by telling MY FRIENDS that I cannot make it.. I'm backstabbing them to their boyfriends.. I'm acting important.. I'm letting my friends down.. This may sound gay.. But you seriously hurt me.. Its like a knife stabbing into heart.. Thanks friend.. You totally made me feel that there's no true friendship anymore...
What do you even understand? You want me to lose my friends? You want me to have all my friends over to your side? You want me to face failure in everything? Including the project. Whic is all so important to me? Thanks.. You did it.. You totally defeated me.. Now I've felt that I've lost it.. Seriously.. Thanks gay boy.. My back has so many holes from you..
I'm a failure in everything.. The woman who gave birth to me is hating me now.. Yeah.. What you said is totally true. Hate me.. Hate me forever then..
You made me break down yet again.. Well done gay boy.. Excellent job done...
Now I'm just too tired.. I dun wish to think... But how?
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 12:18 AM
Whatever...
Today... Went for IS.. LoL.. Okie.. I was lost.. And pamela's class can ehar me shouting to Andrea and Wenlin.. So sad.. I lose face liao lah.. But all was fun.. And we got to watch Mind Your Language during WISP.. Khartini really seems nice.. Thanks to Ming Hui.. Hoho..
Seriously.. If you feel that I think too highly of myself.. Just tell me straight in my face.. And I'll tell you all that I have to say about you... Yes.. Maybe I can't do much... I admit.. Maybe I'm just a small fry in the comm.. I didn't do much during FOC... I didn't contribute much in the comm... Yeah.. You're right.. I'm thinking too highly of myself.. But seriously.. Think about yourself.. What can you do then.. Maybe I can't do any of the welfare stuff but you? Can you do log stuff?
Ya.. I know you photoshop zai.. Can do your tech talk with photoshop le.. So what? Take over me next year lor.. I'm fine with it.. Seriously.. Sometimes.. I just wish that I can say "I HATE YOU" right into your face..
Maybe I shall break my promise... I'm sorry...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 12:15 AM
And Sch Re-Opens...
First day of School... First lesson, BTN... First lecturer... CYC~!! Oh.. How I enjoyed his lesson by wondering off to la la land.. So close man.. Proteomics.. Its like.. All about proteins.. Think the muscle guys will score well in this module.. Cos' they are proteins themselves...
Oh ya..Forget to say about yesterday Sentosa outing.. It was like.. So fun.. First time I gena "tuo" towards the middle of the sea.. Towards an island lah.. LoL..
So many stunning things.. LoL.. Its an eye opener seriously.. And a few moments I seriously freaked out.. LoL... So scary
Hmm.. Yeap.. That's about yesterday.. And I will remember the GLs who dragged me into the sea.. So cute a girl.. Let you all drag.. I shy de you noe..
Tml.. IL2.. Sians.. My lecturer is Zhou Zhou.. Dunno is who.. But hope he/she's nice.. LoL.. Tutoring tml.. Maybe.. Life's the same..
The was is still on.. as cold as ever.. And I don't mind.. seriously..
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 10:34 PM
What the...
Okie.. FOC has gone.. Its like a relieve in the wind.. So much happened.. Let's all move on...
But I got one thing to say.. Pamela is amazed by our trolley.. That spastic girl...
Around an hour ago.. I just scolded my own mother C*** B**... Why? I asked her to take the thinner out.. I'll be blocking the lift.. There's no one around.. There's time for her to clean the filthy name on the walls.. She didn't want to.. She kept asking me to go back put things first.. Then let her prepare.. What the FUCK did she need to prepare.. You want to let everyone know you're clearing the thing?
Everyday I go out.. I look at the wall.. And I hate it.. Seriously.. But does she know? She's got that feeling too.. But she does nothing about it.. Just complain and complain..
Just let me go out and work... The filthy coloured apers with that head and numbers on it.. So bloody important.. Some people have it like water... Some people just can't see enough of it.. Ya.. Sure... Earn it like you never earned before then...
And seriously.. Everyone.. Think about it.. Have faith in yourself.. Why think so much? I've said enough.. The rest depends on yourself.. I am soon giving up..
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 12:53 AM
LiFe??
Meeting Yesterday.. I actually learnt a lot.. Lots of things were said.. And I have strong feeling that some of my comments where redundant.. But.. Yeah.. Whatever...
Gone home.. Met sister at the void deck.. we went up in the lift together.. but when we reached out doorstep.. I didn't dare move near... its that bloody thing again.. and all runs back..
I have a Bah whom I really want to thank.. Seriously.. Sorry to make you sleep so late.. But I really enjoyed the chat.. Thank you very much.. I owe you one..
Today.. Ice Age 2 at Cathay Cineplex!! Ah!! The place is so nice!! The movie is so cute and funny!! But makes me realize something.. Extinction is something scary... But the movie was really great!! Hope he enjoyed it too... =)
Meet sis at bus stop to go home... And I realise. My life sucks.. Because of the man who actually gave birth to me.. It really came flooding back into my brain... And I seriously don't want to live anymore...
But yeah.. Maybe I'll just stay on.. For the sake of irritating my family, my friends.. and him...
Camp? I'm not sure... But I really want to go... How...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 12:18 AM
NeW ViDeo...
Woo... Its a Sunday... Hmm.. Stayed at home.. At first was very sian.. Took out Fort Minor album and watched the videos inside.. Mike Shinoda's a genius.. And Jay-Z laughs like a gay... I always thought he man... But nvm..
In the video.. Mike was so serious about Kenji's track.. He wanted it into the record.. It was his father.. How could I be like him? Maybe never.. But nvm..
Went to YouTube in the end to find other Fort Minor Videos.. Its omg.. All the videos are there!! Hmm.. But not very good quality.. But we get to link them to our websites like blog.. So I put the best quality video into my blog.. ^-^.. See? (-->) Enjoy~~
Where'd You Go (Fort Minor)
(Featuring Holly Brook and Jonah Matranga)
Holly /Jonah:
Where'd you go/I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home
Mike:
She said
Some days I feel like shit/ some days I wanna
Quit/ and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get alone but the trips always so long/ and
I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot working my day around a
Call that when I pick up I don't have much to say/ so
I want you to know it's a little fucked up/ that
I'm stuck here waiting
At time debating telling you that I've had it with you
And your career
Me and the rest of the family here
Singing where'd you go
Come back home/ you know that place where you used to live?
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every Halloween
With candy by the pile
But now you only stop by every once in a while
(Shit) I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine/ and I'm planning to keep it that way
And you can call meif you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you:
I want you to know its a little fucked up/ that
I'm stuck here waiting
At times debating telling you that I've had it with you
And your career
Me and the rest of the family here
Singing where'd you go
I want you to know it's a little fucked up/ that
I'm stuck here waiting
No longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around/ and feeling so useless
It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here
And you can sing it
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 6:13 PM
UpDaTeS...
Hit and Run on wednesday.. Was fun... All through orchard road to Marina Square... It brings back old memories too.. But yet so many things happened.. Who's on the right side and who's on the wrong side? You never know..
You say that a leader has their own thinking.. Yes.. A leader needs to have their own thinking.. But.. Even a leader needs to compromise.. You keep feeling that u are right.. But I'll have to tell you that sometimes.. You are just bloody too cocky.. Please.. stop that break bond thing... what's the fuss with that? Can you all just bloody wake up and look at this batch?
you think you are great.. you try to get involved.. but please.. your ignorant attitude.. your childish thinking.. all the events are better without them.. seriously.. you think you are helping.. but sometimes.. you are making matters worse.. people may feel that you are a good dependence.. but no.. soon.. they will find out that.. you are just a bloody ignorant spoilt kid..
all these things makes me rethink again.. for the gang? for him? for the society? or for myself? the decision is getting more and more wobbly... nvm.. they do not need me...
woo.. Amk has a nice place to eat.. hehe.. claypot.. hot hot neh... but its a nice meal.. hee....
oh ya.. new blog skin.. hehe.. still a final fantasy one.. but its nice!! a bit sad.. yeah.. but rinoa looks nice in the pic.. haha... a bit not used to it.. cos last skin use too long le.. but nvm.. i'll get used to it.. so you guys get used to it too ba~~
its only 2 more days to 5 months.. =) =)
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 11:26 PM
its back..
I'm now sitting in my room.. A few minutes ago.. My sister called that man.. And my mother was shouting at him.. She was barking.. Yet there was fear in her eyes which was so recognisable..
She wanted to dump rubbish at the void deck bin and opened the door to get out.. Yet the door was splashed with something black which we don't even noe what it is.. She was angry yet horrified.. Barking started and then cleaning..
The police came.. Just like last time.. Its like a replay.. Is this a dejavu? Its coming back.. And yet I kept praying that those days will never come back.. What have I done to deserve this? What have I done to have a man like this to give birth to me? I question myself.. I question god.. But there's no answer.. Maybe I should end my life.. But I fear it too...
Please.. Let those days go away.. They are already the past.. Let them just be a shadow which passes.. Please do not let them come back.. Please Please Please...
My tears just flowed... I cannot tolerate it any longer... I wish to just leave.. But can I?
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 11:44 PM
No TiTLe.. Ya..
Yeap.. Training yesterday.. Quite okie.. Climbed the so called hill of Singapore.. Bukit Timah.. Okie.. I admit.. I'm old already.. Seriously.. LoL.. So many monkeys there.. So cute.. hoho... First time since so long ago taking a whole day training.. Haiz.. Tiring.. Yet fun... They got cheated by us.. Its no hit and run.. Kaka.. So sorry Lye Huat and the rest (pencil?)... Even though I think you won't see this.. Hehe..
To Ron... There are reasons.. But.. I will think about it still.. I just hope that you didn't choose the wrong person..
PS and Suntec yesterday.. Kk.. Think we only really walked carrefour.. LoL.. But was fun... See so many things.. And S & K got so many nice clothes.. Haiz.. No money.. So sad..
When I was 14.. You say that I waste your grain to bring me up.. Now that you go back to the outside world.. You make me sound like I waste your grain again..
Whatever I do.. I'm wrong.. I know that.. I'm supposed to jump already when I'm 14...
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 10:59 PM
Walk Walk..
Was a bit late today.. Ok.. Was very late today.. So sorry YF~!! But in the end.. I just went there.. Walk here and there.. had lunch.. wanted to start with primers.. but.. couldn't..ended up watching videos from my comm.. Stupid videos.. LoL.. had a great laugh.. a way to destress though.. hehe.. nvm...
ah.. met hs after that.. we went to town.. went to Marina Square.. LJS.. hehe.. but i still feel like vomitting after eating.. how come neh.. yf say i aneroxic.. cannot be lah.. LoL.. nvm.. shall still eat as normal..
so many shops around!! ah!! hmm.. but no money.. so sad.. *hamster cries*... nvm.. i can control.. hoho..
tml training le.. looking forward to it.. hehe.. must be stern...
then can go walk walk again le~!! hee..
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 12:59 AM
OnCe.. AgaiN..
Yesterday.. An uncle came.. Knocked on the door and asked for the man.. What he asked for was just cash from the man.. But he wasn't at home.. No.. He doesn't belong to this home.. Then the uncle demanded that we pay for him.. No.. We couldn't do that.. But did he care? Sure.. He didn't.. I'm sure he will come back again..
I'm so reminded of those days.. Those fearful days...
Why did he had to do it again? Not once... But so many times.. So many people.. Everytime its different people.. Your reason was that its for our good.. Yeah.. As if I would believe.. Money for yourself.. It was all that you wanted.. If it was for our good.. Even your peabrain would know better than to do those things.. FUCK YOU.. seriously..
I dun want to address you the way I used to.. But do I have the choice?
...tHiS wAs wrItTeN @ 12:51 AM
SC.. or Kerry?
aka Black
aka Ah Chan
06231987
SLEEP
Daydreaming~
$$$$$
J-pop & Manga
锦户 亮 (Kanjani8)
生田 斗真
森田 刚 (V6)
Bleach
the '仲良's
Bah Bah 6 Jie Mei
the Gang
GFDT Club
Xiao Mei
Xiao Qiangs..
Esp those that flies!
an instrument of my own
bike and car license
honda jazz
honda CBF 150
a new bike
a new mp3
a permanent slimdown
more shirts
more money
a long long long break..
the piano.. so someone..
song composing
master my instrument
master the plane
cha do
Jap (languange)
first aiding
swimming (oops)
dance (heh??)
BRUSHES:
1 2
DESIGNER:
1 2
HOST:
1
URAHARA PICTURE:
1
